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Friendship

The Importance of Being a Great Friend

October 22, 2015 by Stacy Hurt

A gift Tina gave me – it is the Stand Up 2 Cancer Alex and Ani bracelet – you better believe I will, dear friend!!

I lost a dear friend (Tina) last night to Stage IV colon cancer.  She was 60.  Even though we only knew each other for a year (we met at chemo), we crammed a lifetime into that short period.  We lived 10 minutes apart and spoke pretty much every day about our good days and bad.  We shared laughs over pooping our pants (a fact of life after colon resection surgery) and tears over setbacks.  I will miss her spirit so much, and I will defeat this dreaded disease in her honor.  I have a close family member that also has the same diagnosis as me (I know, right?! what are the chances?).  Drew (my husband) told me the day after I got home from my surgery, and I am still in disbelief.  We also battle together and we are both moving forward.

So, I got thinking about true friendship, a theme that has really hit home during my illness.  I will never forget who was there for me at the beginning and who has remained steadfast in their support all the way through.  Some friends never really “show up” and some disappear after a token card or sentiment.  My battle will be going on a looooong time… so I treasure the ones who have stuck with me all this time and will stick with me forever.

I thought about the time that Tina asked me to drive her to her scan.  It was probably the last thing I wanted to do.  Number one, I felt like crap that day.  Number two, I sure as hell don’t want to go to the scan center if I don’t have to.  It conjures nothing but stress and anxiety for me.  Number three, I have about a million things going on at all times, whether it’s my actual day job, or something for my disabled son, or something for my typical son, or laundry (we have a lot of laundry in this house…), etc. And number four, they tell me that I have Stage IV cancer myself and need to “rest.” (sure, “rest”…). But then I thought, my friend needs me and I need to suck it up and do this for her.  Her results were good from that scan and we had a lovely lunch afterwards.  I will always remember that day and how important it was now that she has moved on to heaven.  There was another time that a good friend of mine (Erin) wanted to drive me to Starbucks soon after my surgery as a treat.  I was in a ton of pain and had a huge binder around my middle to hold me together to heal.  I could barely walk.  I asked her if she could take me to see Tina.  It was also an important day because it was the first time I got to meet one of the most important people in her life, her boyfriend Jeff.  Needless to say, Jeff and I ended up talking A LOT, especially these past few weeks.  I’ll always remember that day, too, because she was so happy and glowing, and proud to introduce me to him.  It was a special day.

So my point here is instead of making an “EXcuse” about all the reasons that you can’t be a friend; make an “INcuse” to show up and DO IT.  It may be inconvenient; you may be uncomfortable; it may be expensive; there may be prohibitive forces…but BE THE GREAT FRIEND!  Overcome those forces against you to show your friend that you are with her (him) in good times and in really, really bad ones as well!  Trust me, it will mean the world to them, and you are guaranteed to have a moment that you will never forget.

Peace in your world today,

Stacy

Filed Under: Cancer Sucks, Friendship

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Chief Patient Officer @Parexel 🫶 Cancer survivor, Rare disease mom/caregiver, Advocate for the unseen/unheard in healthcare 📣 Opinions are my own

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At Parexel, we're proud to collaborate with our trusted site partners. Together we've established: • An emerging site scholarship program • A new site payment platform • Site Pulse Forums for open dialogue. Please consider voting for Parexel for the 2025 @MySCRS #EagleAward!🏆

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"I am the voice of the patient when the patient's not in the room."🎙️- Stacy Hurt, Parexel's Chief Patient Officer. In this Health Pulse Podcast episode, Stacy shares her journey from patient to patient advocate and how she navigated complex health decisions.🎧Hear her advice.⬇️

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Today, I'm suing the Trump Administration alongside 19 other states and Washington DC to stop them from arbitrarily canceling funding owed to Pennsylvania.

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I'm thrilled to be named among the recipients of the 2025 Patient Engagement Leaders Award by @1nHealth. Congratulations to my fellow honorees.

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Important Note

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of my employer, nor should be construed as medical advice.  Please consult a licensed, trusted health care professional for any/all treatment decisions.

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