Hi everyone & thanks for reading! As you all probably know by now, I am a “God” person. It’s my belief. I would never want to impose my faith views on anyone else. With that being said, I have a lot of friends who are “non-God” people, and I have the utmost respect for them. Some people send me prayers, some people send me positive energy. Some people send me flowers to convey their thoughts, some people send me food. Hey, I will take it ALL without judgement! You may have heard me say: “I’m like Sandals; I’m all-inclusive!” I mean it. So just to warn you, this is a God post. My higher voice is God. Like my one friend, yours may be Gucci. Yours may be your significant other, or Buddha, or a sunflower. Whatever higher voice speaks to you, listen to it and trust it.
For some reason, my older son Griffin’s room is special. I have made life changing decisions in there and also had some not so good intuitions. It was in Griffin’s room when I was pregnant with Emmett that I said to my mom, “Something is not right with this pregnancy. I feel it.” I had no inkling to sat that except from a higher voice, because I had a better pregnancy with Emmett than with Griffin. You can call it a gut instinct. I call it God. Anyhow, one month after my diagnosis, I was making Griffin’s bed. I started thinking to myself how much I wanted to beat cancer to live to see my boys grow up; to see what each of them would do/be/accomplish in their lives. To see how Emmett would prove the doctors wrong by walking and talking; to witness what medical breakthrough would enrich his existence. I was still actively working full-time as the head of Training and Development of a pharmaceutical company. I just kept asking, “What can I do to beat this? What do I have to do to beat this?” Suddenly, I just plopped down on the edge of his bed, as if someone sat me down and said, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll get you through this if you devote the rest of your life to helping others with this disease and with whatever life demolishing situation they have to encounter.” Nobody said that out loud, but I said out loud, “It’s a deal.” And then all of these thoughts flashed through my head of always making everyone laugh, of always being the life of the party, of always speaking up, speaking out, and asking the questions that everyone wanted to know the answer to but was afraid to ask. From the time I was 6, I was made for talking. Time to put it to use for the greater good. THIS was why it all happened to me – Emmett, me…it all made sense now. Time for a career change. Bad Stuff + My Big Mouth = LIFE for me and a lot of others! (so far, it’s a plan of purpose and passion, not pay- LOL…)
So you wonder: why did she put it all out there on Facebook? Why does she do all of this speaking? NOW YOU KNOW!!! (See, reading Stacy’s blog DOES have its plusses….you get the inside story!)
Hokey, right? God speaking to me? It gets worse. I love Fleetwood Mac – from the time that my mom bought Rumours when I was 7, that was it. I would play that album and dance around my basement like I was Stevie Nicks. I fell in love with her. Her voice, her style, her lyrics, her attitude. When the song “Gypsy” was released, I would tell my mom how much I adored it, and she’d say, “That’s because you’re a gypsy! Never sitting still! Always looking for your next adventure!” I used to always dress up as a gypsy for Halloween and I got a kick out of fortune telling. Whenever I need to calm my nerves and recenter myself, I play that song. On my first trip to Hillman when I was sitting in Dr. Bahary’s office scared to death (literally), I asked Drew to play Gypsy for me. To this day, every time I get chemo and they start my IV, I play Gypsy. Every scan I have, I play Gypsy. So it’s no surprise that when Fleetwood Mac played in Pittsburgh one month after my diagnosis, after I’d made my “deal”, and they played the song “Gypsy”, I cried. They were tears of a million different emotions. And Griffin was there with Drew and me. God’s voice spoke again to me during that song and said, “Remember our deal. Trust in it. Do it. Trust Me.”
So whatever drives you, whatever motivates you, whatever higher voice speaks to you; listen to it, trust it, do it.
To the gypsy that remains; She faces freedom; With a little fear;
I have no fear; I have only love; And if I was a child; And the child was enough;
Enough for me to love; Enough to love – Gypsy, Fleetwood Mac
For Stacy, it always gets back to love! Take care & stay strong!
